Why Mourn the Dead?

A long time ago, there lived a Sufi master, very pious and holy, who was very well respected in his town. He had two children whom he loved dearly. One winter, some strange illness appeared and took the life of both his children. The whole town was shocked by what had happened and mourned the deaths for several weeks. People were distraught at the calamity that hit the holy man and had deep sympathies for the sufi master. The only person who never shed a tear was the sufi master himself. People were surprised and shocked to see that and were worried about what had happened to their guiding light.

One lady couldn’t control herself and finally asked, “Master, how can you be so aloof and unmoved by this tragedy which has so deeply impacted the whole town? You are our leader and guiding light. We look up to you for guidance and solace during tough times. Are you not feeling the pain of your own children’s death? Is there no love and compassion left in your soul? How will you guide us in our tough times?”

The lady continued with her monologue. The sufi master remained silent. At last, she was done. The sufi master politely explained, “My dear Lady, do not think that I have lost love and compassion for humanity. I feel sorry even for the criminals. I care for the nature, the blue sky, the mountains and the river. I have compassion even for rocks which injure people. I feel compassion even for dogs that bite people. I pray to GOD to forgive all sinners.”

The lady replied, “When you feel mercy for even non-living things, how come you did not shed a tear at the death of your own children? Tears are a sign of kindness and humanness. How come your eyes have never got moist at this most unfortunate moment?”

The sufi master said, “My Lady, although my children are gone, they are always present in front of my heart’s eyes. In fact, they are very much alive. I can see them playing joyfully. They may not be present in the physical world, but I can see them playing all around me. When I see them being blissful, why should I cry. Sometimes the children do cry as they feel the separation between us, but I am always with them. Some people may see them when their eyes are closed, but I see them even when I am awake. I have let go of my physical senses, that’s how I can observe everything and everyone in silence. Having such a gift from Almighty, why should I shed tears?”

The END

Learnings

1.What the Lord giveth, he can taketh away. Why fret over it? Better not to be too attached to anything. Money, power, fame, wealth, health, family all can be lost in an instant. These Covid times have taught us that none of these things are permanent. Life can change in an instant. We have to try not to be too attached to anything/anyone. I know its not easy that’s why we have to try....It does not mean that we should become cold hearted or loose our compassion . It means that no matter how big a loss, we have to pick ourselves up and reboot and restart.

2. What is real and what is unreal is a matter of perspective. Gain, loss, reward, punishment all depends on how we look at them. To someone who can see beyond the physical world, nothing is ever lost. Because he can connect to the higher self and see that whatever comes from GOD can never be destroyed. To GOD alone, it will return. So what’s the point of crying if something/ someone is returning home?

3.Attachment should be to something which is indestructible. Our body will be destroyed one day. It will be burned or buried but it cannot last forever. Hence, our attention should be on the soul which is permanent and everlasting. Our attachment, if at all, needs to be to the all the beautiful souls which have come from the same Almighty and in a way, are part of us. We are all part of the indestructible whole which has various names. If we feel connected, one with the humanity as a whole, our sorrows can reduce. (cant say it will end as have not experienced it yet)

4. This story is great example of universality and timelessness. The sufi master has gone beyond the normal rituals and observance of physical world. He sees the world not from the physical eye but from the heart's eye. And with heart’s eye, nothing is pleasing or displeasing. Nothing goes or comes. Nothing is gained or lost.

5.To understand it deeply, we first need to understand how we get any particular information. If we look closely, it is our senses which gather information through sensations and our mind interpret that data. Since we have been doing this for a while, our mind has a certain way of interpreting and we keep seeing world in a particular format. When the sufi master said he uses the heart's eye, he meant that his senses are beyond the normal physical senses that we normally use.

6. When we experience universality and certain amount of oneness, we will be seeing the world from heart's eye. Those sensation which would have created tears in our eyes because of normal mind's behaviour will remain same, but the heart becomes the instrument which interprets these sensations rather than mind and we start seeing the world differently!

STORY CREDIT: This story has its source in the six volumes of Masnavi by Jalalu'din Rumi, translated by Maryam Mafi